“This Cannot Be My Life”: Gabrielle Union-Wade on a Hot Flash, Shame and Speaking Up

Gabrielle Union-Wade, an actress and menopause advocate, says early menopause felt isolating and confusing. In a conversation with Barbara Dehn, N.P., a women’s health nurse practitioner and menopause expert, Union-Wade described the moment a hot flash changed how she approached her health. The two also talked about why hot flashes are so often misunderstood and why they want more women to speak up. The discussion is part of the “Life Doesn‘t Stop for a Hot Flash“ campaign.

A hot flash on a rom-com set

Union-Wade said the constant stream of antiaging messaging left her feeling less valuable and that having her body policed and commented on made her start to shrink. The turning point came on the set of a rom-com, opposite a costar who was more than 20 years younger. She had what she called probably the worst hot flash of her life, sweating through her clothes while the camera rolled. She worried that production read her reaction as fear, which is not how she sees herself. She called her doctor and said, “This cannot be my life.”

Her doctor reviewed options based on her health history and what she needed, and Union-Wade became a user of a hot flash treatment herself. She said she joined the campaign because she is the target audience and knew there had to be another way.

Misread as too many covers or anxiety

Dehn said many women do not realize what they are experiencing is a hot flash. Patients have told her they woke up with a clammy neck and blamed the blankets, or they blamed anxiety for the sweating. Severe episodes can feel like “Niagara Falls coming out of your armpits,” Dehn said, and stop a person in the middle of what they are doing. Because the subject is rarely discussed, many women do not have friends who describe it the same way.

Dehn said 80% of women will experience hot flashes during menopause, making them the most common symptom. They involve warmth in the face, neck or chest, or intense heat with sweating, and typically last one to five minutes. Some women have them for a year, others for 10 years or more. Dehn said people get “their own ticket on the menopausal roller coaster ride.” When hot flashes disrupt daily life, she recommends tracking symptoms, talking with a provider and building a treatment plan together.

More than something quick and fleeting

Union-Wade said the term “hot flash” makes it sound brief, but to her it felt like an “internal heater that has been turned all the way up.” She did not expect to feel embarrassed, and she said the experience felt out of character. She encouraged women to give themselves grace, noting that aging is biology and does not make anyone defective or less deserving. When she shared her story with friends, she said, it gave them permission to be honest too.

One size never fits all

Dehn stressed that no single treatment works for everyone and encouraged women to talk with their providers. She said Lynkuet (elinzanetant) can be a choice for women who want a hormone-free option. It is a U.S. Food and Drug Administration-approved prescription medication for moderate to severe hot flashes due to menopause, taken orally at night with or without food.

Building community, removing shame

Union-Wade said the first step is to start with friends, talk to health care providers and share experiences online, where people already discuss almost everything else. She believes community brings empowerment and takes away space for shame. She said women do not have to “suffer in silence.”

Dehn said Union-Wade’s openness is helping more women talk about their symptoms and prompting more providers to say they need to learn more. Since Union-Wade joined the campaign, Dehn said, people at her conference talks have told her they want to learn more because of the actress’s involvement. Both said a hot flash can show up at any time, and that once a woman finds the right plan with her provider, it does not have to stop her life.

Gabrielle Union-Wade is a paid partner of Bayer in its Lynkuet (elinzanetant) hot flash campaign. Bayer did not have editorial control over the content of this article. This article is for educational purposes only and is not medical advice. Talk with your health care provider about menopause symptoms and treatment options.