How to Advocate for Yourself During Pregnancy When You Feel Like Nobody Is Listening

Knowing what to eat and which screenings to book is one part of a healthy pregnancy. But navigating the emotional and relational side of prenatal care is something far fewer people talk about openly. What happens when you feel dismissed by your care team? How do you make the most of a short appointment when you have a long list of questions? And what role does the person sitting beside you in the waiting room actually play in your health outcomes? Naima Bridges, M.D., an ob-gyn and medical adviser at BillionToOne, offers honest, practical answers.

Many women feel dismissed when they raise concerns during pregnancy. What would you tell a patient who feels like something is off but is struggling to be heard by her care team?

Naima Bridges, M.D.: Your pregnancy experience can benefit if you are open with your care team. Asking questions is critical. Your care provider doesn't know what questions you have unless you advocate for yourself and voice those questions. Bring up your concerns and expectations from the beginning to ensure you are all on the same page and can put together a successful birth plan. Throughout the process, make sure to ask questions about anything that is unclear, speak up about symptoms, and tell your provider how you are feeling physically and emotionally. It's also very important to be transparent with your doctor about your medical history and family medical history. There are direct correlations between specific health conditions and pregnancy, and having all of that information up front allows your team to provide you with the best care to meet your specific needs.

Keep a running list of questions as you think of them leading up to each visit, write them down and bring them to your visit. Many patients draw a blank once they get to the appointment and forget to ask certain things. This will help to ensure that all of your questions are addressed. It's a good idea to ask those questions at the beginning of the appointment so your doctor can tailor the conversation to what's important to you during the visit, in addition to the routine tests that need to be completed. Also, writing down their response to those questions is the best way to remember what they said.

Pregnancy can look very different depending on someone's support system. How does having strong support actually affect maternal and fetal health outcomes?

NB: Women are encouraged to come to prenatal visits with a support person [such as a partner or family member] so they have two sets of ears to digest and understand information more easily, and also so they have an advocate when they maybe don't feel comfortable asking questions. Prior to the visit, run through what types of questions you want to ask with your support person.

It's also important for partners to know that moods change often during pregnancy, so give your partner a lot of encouragement and some space, and ask them how they want to be supported during the pregnancy, because every woman will require something different. Make sure to give each other grace as you navigate the process.

If you could leave every pregnant patient with one piece of advice that covers their physical health, their mental health and their relationship with their own care team, what would it be?

NB: It's critical for all patients to have access to early prenatal care and testing in order to get the best care and have the ability to make the best decisions for their families. The earlier we get care, the earlier we can test for genetic conditions. The earlier we test for genetic conditions, the earlier we get results and can determine whether there are intervention options for patients [for example, through medication or specialized monitoring and treatment]. Early detection expands your options: more time to learn, to plan, to feel prepared and to bring in specialists to offer more tailored care and reassurance. The later we get into care or test for genetic conditions, the availability of these options can decrease. Catching potential issues early can allow the care team to address them earlier. For example, high blood pressure can be managed, thyroid issues can be corrected and anemia can be treated.