Letting Go of “Perfect”: Protecting Mental Health During the Holidays

For many people, the holiday season brings more than lights, gatherings and celebration. According to Rachel Rohaidy, M.D., a psychiatrist with Miami Neuroscience Institute at Baptist Health South Florida, this time of year often surfaces low mood, anxiety, loneliness and increased substance use, especially for those already under emotional or financial strain.

Rohaidy explains that the holidays can amplify feelings of depression and stress because of the cultural expectation that this should be a joyful time. When reality doesn’t match that image, because of loss, illness, strained family relationships, unmet goals or financial pressure, people may feel like they are failing. Seasonal changes, disrupted routines and constant comparison to others can further worsen mood, while memories of loved ones who are no longer present may trigger grief and past trauma.

One of the most important tools Rohaidy emphasizes is setting boundaries. Saying no to events, expenses or expectations that feel overwhelming is not selfish, she says, but necessary. Maintaining routines, planning ahead and being realistic about time, money and energy can help protect mental health during an already demanding season. She also encourages mindfulness around alcohol and substance use, particularly for individuals working to maintain sobriety, noting that holiday environments can be especially triggering.

Rohaidy stresses that recognizing when stress turns into something more serious is critical. Persistent sadness, hopelessness, irritability, difficulty functioning, changes in sleep or appetite, or thoughts of self-harm are signs that it’s time to reach out for help. While many people assume they must see a psychiatrist, she points out that primary care providers are often the first and most accessible step. For urgent situations, resources like the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline are available 24/7 by call or text.

Above all, Rohaidy encourages families to let go of the idea of a “perfect” holiday. Burnt dinners, messy homes and unwrapped expectations are not failures: They are normal. What matters most, she says, is creating meaningful moments, being present and allowing space for imperfection. Seeking support, setting limits and asking for help are not signs of weakness, but strength — and they can make the season feel more manageable and more human.