What Dolly Parton's Death Reveals About Collective Grief

Dolly Parton's death has prompted an outpouring of grief from people who never met her personally, a response that can feel confusing to those experiencing it. Desiree Taranto, LMHC-D, CDBT, clinical director at Empower Your Mind Therapy, explains why this kind of grief is both normal and valid, whether it's tied to a specific memory, a person who introduced someone to her music or simply what she represented to millions of fans across generations.

Taranto also speaks to why Parton's death may feel especially significant within the LGBTQIA+ community, a group she supported publicly and consistently throughout her career, and offers guidance for anyone surprised by how much this loss is affecting them. From revisiting an artist's work to leaning on shared mourning with others, she shares healthy ways to move through grief for a public figure without judgment or embarrassment.

Why does grieving a public figure we never personally knew feel so real, and what makes that grief valid rather than something people should downplay?

Desiree Taranto, LMHC-D, CDBT: It is perfectly normal to mourn a public figure, even if you never knew them personally. What that person created can still be deeply personal to you. Maybe you listened to Dolly’s music with someone who is no longer here, someone special introduced you to her work or her songs helped you through a difficult time. We are not only grieving the person, but also what they represented and the memories and emotions connected to them. That makes the grief real and valid, and it should not be downplayed.

Dolly’s death seems to be resonating across generations, from longtime fans to younger audiences who grew up with a different side of her career. What do you think is driving that widespread reach?

DT: Dolly was a huge star in so many different ways. She was not only a well-known musician and actress, but also a philanthropist and a pillar of her community and the community at large. Some people grew up listening to songs such as “I Will Always Love You” or watching 9 to 5, while younger generations may know her through Dollywood, the Imagination Library, her advocacy or the many ways she continued to appear in popular culture. Her career lasted for decades, but she also continued to connect with new audiences. Different generations may have known different sides of Dolly, but they all connected with her kindness, humor, talent and desire to make a positive difference in the world.

You’ve noted this loss may feel especially significant within the LGBTQIA+ community. Can you speak to why that connection runs so deep?

DT: Dolly became an LGBTQIA+ icon through her devotion to her queer fans, her rejection of religious judgment and her support of transgender people. She was a proud and vocal Christian woman, but she never wanted to push her religion onto others and regularly called for love and acceptance instead of judgment. She openly expressed her love for drag culture, supported marriage equality and spoke out against restrictions affecting transgender people. She also included LGBTQIA+ stories and messages of acceptance in her music and television work. For many people in the community, Dolly made them feel seen, loved and accepted exactly as they were. That is why this feels like such a significant and personal loss.

Music and shared mourning seem to play a big role in processing this kind of loss. How does revisiting someone’s work actually help people grieve?

DT: Listening to someone’s music or revisiting their work gives people a way to feel their emotions and remember what that person meant to them. A song can bring back memories of a particular person, relationship or time in someone’s life. Watching Dolly’s movies, listening to her songs and sharing stories about her can bring comfort while also creating space for the sadness. Shared mourning is especially powerful because it connects people. Seeing others post memories, songs and stories helps people feel less alone in their grief and gives them an opportunity to both receive and offer support.

What would you tell someone who’s surprised by how hard this is hitting them, and what are some healthy ways to move through that grief?

DT: I would tell them to accept their feelings and not judge themselves for having them. It is okay to mourn someone you never personally met because their work, advocacy and presence may still have touched your life in a very personal way. Reach out to others who are also grieving, be there for one another and take care of yourself. Tell stories about her, listen to her music, watch her movies or journal about what she meant to you. Remember the ways she used her platform for good and the positive impact she made in the world. There is no reason to feel embarrassed by grief. Allowing yourself to feel it and share it with others can help you move through it.